


Extremophile

by seraphichan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, because i can't write mysteries worth a crap, i wish i could tho i really like this idea, that i probably won't continue, the sherlock holmes au that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphichan/pseuds/seraphichan
Summary: “Are you a new tenant?”“No. Are you here to arrest the pig?”Erwin chuckled. “No. Actually I need some help with a case. Hange has a brilliant mind and I take advantage of it quite often.”That was certainly interesting. Levi would have bet Hange was more of a space case than a person that solved them.





	

Levi did not normally answer newspaper adverts. In his opinion they seemed shady, even when they were just announcing the local church’s biannual bake sale.

But Levi _needed_ a place to live. A string of bad accidents had forced him to move three times in just as many weeks, and he was running out of options. At least the rent was cheap. And it was in a nice neighborhood.

Of course, those two things didn't normally coincide, which quickly led him to the question: What the fuck was wrong with it?

Levi guessed it might be the landlord. Moblit seemed nice enough, but he was very fidgety, very nervous. And the first thing he did was give Levi a tour of the first floor.

Where _he_ lived.

“This is all...great,” Levi said, his patience running thin after five minutes and a very thorough explanation of the quirks of Moblit’s kitchen faucet, “but what about the actual room that’s for rent?”

Moblit’s smile faltered. “Right. This way,” he sighed.

He led Levi back to the foyer and up the stairs they had bypassed when Moblit had shown Levi inside. At the top Moblit dug a key out of his pocket, unlocking the deadbolt and twisting the knob. He sucked in a deep breath and then let it out with a sigh.

“Here we are,” he said as he opened the door.

On one of the worst messes Levi had ever seen in his life.

There were mounds of things everywhere - books, clothes, and flattened cardboard boxes, to name a few. It didn’t smell like the dumpster it looked like, but it did smell. Like sulfur. Which was much more worrying. _Why_ did it smell like sulfur?

This certainly explained why Moblit was so reluctant to show him upstairs. Who would agree to live here?

Not Levi.

“No,” Levi said, taking a step back.

“Yeah. That’s what everyone says.” Moblit looked down at the floor and scuffed his shoe on the carpet.

_Excuse_ him? Why was _he_ the one that looked so put out? Levi was the one who was fucked here.

He was about to say as much when a loud slam reverberated up the staircase, followed by stomping and incoherent mumbling. Levi had to flatten himself against the wall to keep from getting run over by the person - a hurricane of brown hair, skewed glasses, and a misbuttoned coat - all the noise belonged to, their head bent over as they read a piece of paper in their hand.

“Moblit!” they shouted as they came to an abrupt stop just inside the apartment door.

“I’m right here, Hange,” Moblit sighed. Something, Levi was noticing, that he did a lot.

Hange turned. “Oh! I didn’t see you there! Could you--” they stopped when they spotted Levi. “Is this my new roommate?”

“No, he--” Moblit began.

“Wonderful! Come in, come in!” Hange grabbed Levi’s hand. “Did you see the room yet?”

“ _No. I’m not_ \--”

“Moblit, that’s so rude!” Hange tutted, yanking Levi forward.

Levi yanked back. It didn’t release his arm, but it did get Hange to stop.

“This place is disgusting. I’m not living here. How do _you_ even live here?”

“Hm? Don’t worry there are places to step. Just follow me.”

That’s not what Levi asked, but before he can repeat the question he is being tugged forward again. He tried backpedaling, but Hange’s grip was surprisingly strong and, after a few seconds of thought, decided that it would probably be faster and easier to just go along with it. They take a very convoluted path around a very unsturdy looking pile of books to a closed door. Levi could only imagine what filth resided behind it.

But when Hange opened the door Levi was surprised to find that it was clean. Or relatively, anyway, as it was coated under a layer of dust. But, compared to the dreck just outside the door, it was pristine. And it was more spacious than Levi expected, too.

“Hange,” Moblit called, wading after them. “Hange, he doesn’t want the room.”

“Oh? Why didn’t you say so?” they asked Levi.

“I did.”

Hange tilted their head. “Did you? Sorry, I have a lot on my mind. It’s too bad, you seem like a nice guy.”

Levi snorted.

“Good luck finding a different place, I guess.”

And just like that they released Levi’s hand and went back to reading the paper they were looking at before. They deftly wandered over to what Levi assumed was a chair and, despite it being covered in plastic bags, draped themselves over it.

“Sorry about that,” Moblit said.

“Why don’t you just evict them?” Levi asked. That seemed like the most obvious solution to him.

“I’m afraid Mr. Berner is the only one is this city with enough patience and good will to house them.”

Levi turned, watched as a tall man with blonde hair strode up the stairs.

“I hope you don’t mind I let myself in,” he said to Moblit.

“Not at all.”

“Erwin Smith, head investigator for the police department.” He smiled at Levi and held out his hand. Levi took it and they shook. “Are you a new tenant?”

“No. Are you here to arrest the pig?”

Erwin chuckled. “No. Actually I need some help with a case. Hange has a brilliant mind and I take advantage of it quite often.”

That was certainly interesting. Levi would have bet Hange was more of a space case than a person that solved them.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said, dipping his head and shuffling into the room, making his way to Hange quickly. He must come often if he knew where to step without really looking.

“Well,” Moblit said after a few moments, “let me show you to the--”

“I’ll take it.”

“What?”

“The room. I’ll take it.”

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

“On one condition. You let me clean. I refuse to live in, near, or around that cesspool.”

“Yes, of course, yes! Anything you want!”

Moblit looked like he was about to cry with joy, like he would hug Levi if given the chance.

“I’ll just...get my stuff from my car,” he said, stepping down the stairs before he could actually be the recipient of any such affection. 

“Hey, what made you change your mind?” Moblit asked.

Levi wasn’t quite sure. Desperation. Curiosity. The inability to allow that menagerie of filth to exist now that he’d seen it with his own two eyes. Maybe a combination of all three.

“I’m a nice guy.”

It took a few moments, but then Moblit’s mouth split into a tiny grin.

“Now you be a nice guy and help me carry my shit,” Levi said, continuing down the stairs and out the door to his car.


End file.
